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​Greg: Masturbator

This song is by Your Mother.

He actually made it over 1,200 days without ever paying any attention to his nads.
But at 19, with no girlfriend, and working at a video store with it's own porn room must have taken it's toll.
Now we call him
Greg:
Masturbator.
He decided it was bad for his health, afraid it would start running out his nose.
It's been so long now he doesn't even have to use his hands!