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The Bald-Headed End of a Broom

This song is by Walter Smith and appears on the compilation Good for What Ails You: Music of the Medicine Shows 1926-1937 (2005).

Oh, love is such a very funny thing, and it catches the young and old
It's just like a plate of boardin' house hash, and to many a man it's sold
It makes you feel like a freshwater eel, and it cause your head to swell
You'll lose your mind, for love is blind, and it empties your pocket as well

Boys, keep away from the girls, I say, and give them lots of room
For you'll find when you're wed, they'll bang you 'til you're dead with the bald-headed end of a broom

When a man is going with a pretty little girl, he talks just gentle as a dove
He spends all his money, and he calls her honey, for to show her he's solid in love
When his money is gone and the clothes is hocked, you'll find the old saying is true
That a mole on the arm is worth two on the long, but what is he going to do?

Boys, keep away from the girls, I say, and give them lots of room
For you'll find when you're wed, they'll bang you 'til you're dead with the bald-headed end of a broom

When married folks have lot of cash, their love is firm and strong
But when they have to feed on hash the love don't last so long
With a wife and seventeen half-starved kids, I'll tell you it's no fun
When the butcher comes around to collect his bill with a dog and double-barreled gun

Boys, keep away from the girls, I say, and give them lots of room
For you'll find when you're wed, they'll bang you 'til you're dead with the bald-headed end of a broom

Young fellows, all take my advice, don't be in a hurry to wed
You'll think you're in clover 'til the honeymoon's over, and then you'll think you're dead
With a cross-eyed baby on each knee and wife with a plaster on her nose
You'll find true love don't run so smooth when you wear your second-hand clothes

Boys, keep away from the girls, I say, and give them lots of room
For you'll find when you're wed, they'll bang you 'til you're dead with the bald-headed end of a broom

Boys, keep away from the girls, I say, and give them lots of room
For you'll find when you're wed, they'll bang you 'til you're dead with the bald-headed end of a broom