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​Please, Mr. Compatibility

This song is by Tom Payne and appears on the compilation Vince Emery Presents the Funniest Computer Songs (1989).

Would you put this system together for me
Some I ordered by mail and parts I got free
The pieces all work, except two or three
Please, Mr. Compatibility

Now with my Amiga, all I want to do
Is running MacDraw underneath OS/2
To write all my data on ROM-type CD
And display EGA on projection TV

I'd like to plug hypercard into my VAX
Run my parallel printer on standard coax
Use it all under MS-DOS version 3.2
And a VCR on RS-232

My Cray running friendly interfaces with ease
To movie film shown on a 13-foot screen
My plotter and laser should speak Postscript well
Networked on Appletalk under Novell

Autocad my Atari, VGA TTL
Tied to my Apple ][ running Excell
Lay optic fiber, shaped in a token ring
With a scanner and tablet - I forget anything?

Put all this together - take an hour or two
Hide those ugly cables, and when you are through
Write up a contract saying you'd guarantee
It'll all work forever, or you'd fix it for free

Would you put this system together for me
Some I ordered by mail and parts I got free
The pieces all work, except two or three
Please, Mr. Compatibility