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​Send The Marines

This song is by Tom Lehrer and appears on the album That Was The Year That Was (1965) and on the 3 disc box-set The Remains of Tom Lehrer (2000).

Spoken introduction:
What with President Johnson practicing escalatio on the
Vietnamese, and then the Dominican crisis on top of that,
It has been a nervous year, and people have begun to feel
Like a Christian Scientist with appendicitis. Fortunately,
In times of crisis like this, America always has its number
One instrument of diplomacy to fall back on.
Here's a song about it:


When someone makes a move
Of which we don't approve
Who is it that always intervenes?
U.N. and O.A.S.
They have their place, I guess
But first - send the Marines!

We'll send them all we've got
John Wayne and Randolph Scott
Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
To the shores of Tripoli
But not to Mississippoli
What do we do? We send the Marines!

For might makes right
And till they've seen the light
They've got to be protected
All their rights respected
Till somebody we like can be elected

Members of the corps
All hate the thought of war
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means
Stop calling it aggression
Ooh, we hate that expression!
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo
They love us everywhere we go
So when in doubt
Send the Marines!

Written by:

Tom Lehrer