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​Statistician's Blues

This song is by Todd Snider and appears on the album New Connection (2002) and on the live album Near Truths And Hotel Rooms (2003).

Snider-Finlay

They say 3 percent of the people use 5 to 6 percent of their brain
97 percent use 3 percent and the rest goes down the drain
I'll never know which one I am but I'll bet you my last dime
99 percent think we're 3 percent 100 percent of the time.

64 percent of all the world's statistics are made up right there on the spot
82.4 percent of people believe 'em whether they're accurate statistics or not
I don't know what you believe but I do know there's no doubt
I need another double shot of something 90 proof, I got too much to think about.

Too much to think about
Too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
It's too much to think about.

They say 92 percent of everything you learned in school was just bullshit you'll never need
84 percent of everything you got you bought to satisfy your greed
Because 90 percent of the world's population links possessions to success
Even though 80 percent of the wealthiest 1 percent of the population drinks to an alarming excess
More money, more stress.

It's too much to think about
Too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
It's too much to think about, pick it now.

84 percent of all statisticians truly hate their jobs
They say the average bank robber lives within say about 20 miles of the bank that he robs
There's this little bank not far from here I've been watching now a while
Lately all I can think about's how bad I wanna go out in style.

And it's too much to think about
It's too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
It's too much to think about, that's right
It's too much to think about, amen
It's too much to think about, mm-mm.