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​Shoehorn with Teeth

This song is by They Might Be Giants and appears on the album Lincoln (1988) and on the compilation album Then: The Earlier Years (1997).

He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
'Cause he knows there's no such thing

He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair
But he doesn't get nervous, she's not really there
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
'Cause he knows there's no such thing

Tour the world in a heavy metal band
But they run out of gas, the plane may never land

He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
'Cause he knows there's no such thing

What's the sense in ever thinking 'bout the tomb
When you're much too busy returning to the womb?

He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
'Cause he knows there's no such thing

Written by:

John Flansburgh and John Linnell