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You Can't Get Good Help

This song is by The Upper Crust and appears on the album Once More Into the Breeches (2001).

Once I had servants who won't cheat
Faithful and discrete
But that was long ago in days of yore
Nowadays I find they're out to rob you blind
No, you can't get good help, anymore

A cook to make ones meals
Ones peasants in the fields
A maid or two to do the household chores
But no matter what one pays
One can't find good help today
No, one can't get good help, anymore

Help! I need good help
Help! I need good help!
Help! I need good help
Heeelp!

I treat my servants well
Though discontent I quell
And insubordinates I'd show the door
But servants who'll obey
Just can't be found today
No, one can't find good help, anymore
No, one can't find good help
No, one can't find good help
No, one can't find good help, anymore!