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​Mr. Wonderful

This song is by The Residents and appears on the album Demons Dance Alone (2002).

Life would be wonderful
Life would be wonderful

If I was a little taller
If I was not quite so old
If my raincoat had a collar
To help me keep away the cold

If my little mouse named Norman
Was still alive inside the sock
He used to keep himself so cozy
Inside his little cardboard box

If I had a nice location
To sit where people passing by
Looked like they were on vacation
And helped me buy some pecan pie

If I could afford a breakfast
Of bacon, toast and scrambled eggs
If I hadn't been so reckless
When I lost my other leg

If there was an open doorway
Where I could be warm and dry
And visit with some memories
I made once upon a time

Life would be wonderful