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​Letters From Sea

This song is by The Merry Wives of Windsor and appears on the album Here's To The Men (2005).

My husband went to sea,
Six long months ago,
His fortune for to find
And I long to see him so.
And one fine day I met
A sailor out on leave.
He'd met my husband dear
And this letter he received.

My dearest wife, (my dear)
I think that we
Have been at sea
For a bit too long, my dear.
I now feel wary
As the crew calls me Mary
And I sleep each night in fear.
Yesterday I caught 'em
Staring at my bottom.
I'll come back when I can.
I love to fornicate
For sex is great,
But not with another man.

Several weeks had passed.
I could not remain merry
Because I lived in fear,
For my husband's cherry,
And to my great relief,
Good tidings bore this day.
I met another sailor
And a second letter gay.

My dearest wife, (my dear)
I know that we
Have been at sea
For far too long I dread,
For the pious pastor
And the fat quartermaster,
Sleep in the same bunk bed
Oh, redhead Roy,
The cabin boy,
Locked himself below,
I'll leave when I can
When we next find land,
And I'll find my way back home.

Several months had passed.
My impassioned heart did burn
To see my husband dear,
Awaiting his return.
And much to my surprise,
There came another boat
And another sailor - Yoohoo! -
Bearing another note.

My dearest wife, (my dear)
I think that we
Will remain at sea
For a few months truth to tell
For the second mate
Thinks I'm great
And we hit it off quite well.
In a drunken mist
I couldn't resist.
When the rum passed round, I went.
But sex is rife
In a sailor's life
If your indiscriminate.

My husband dear,
I think that ye
Should stay at sea,
For the soothest truth I tell,
For on your return,
Your house I'll burn
And I'll send you straight to hell.
So all young wives,
If you be wise,
Do heed this sorry song
For you can't compete
With the men of the fleet
When your husband's away too long.