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​Two Stroke Eddie

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album The Beer Necessities (1990) and on the compilation album An Orifice And A Genital: Out-Takes 1986-1991 (1993).

Female Vocals

"Hey is that Eddie's cum your wearing?"
"Uh huh"
"Gee it must be great riding him?"
"Uh er"

He pulled up on a Yammy 750,
I got all wet, my buttocks started shifting,
I gave him a wink, I said: "Buy us a drink?"
I got a double brandy and coke,
He said: "Come outside, we'll go for a ride."
I gave his leather trousers a stroke,
Two stroke Eddie,
Two stroke Eddie.

I told him straight away I wanted porking,
(Tell us about the size of his pole)
He only had an inch, and that was foreskin,
(Sounds like he was hung like a vole)
The ugly twat finished in two seconds flat,
He had a problem with his timing,
The fat, spotty bum asked me if I'd come,
He's not worth the crust off my gusset lining,
Two-stroke Eddie,
Two-stroke Eddie.

I couldn't give a toss about his size, dear,
(You're a f***ing lying slut)
Two-stroke Eddie couldn't touch the sides, dear,
(He didn't even have half a foot)
He just made a mess all over my dress,
I didn't even know he'd been in,
Then he had the cheek to ask to see me next week,
I wouldn't give him cheese off my quim,
Two-stroke Eddie,
Two-stroke Eddie.

Two-stroke Eddie,
Two-stroke Eddie,
Two-stroke Eddie.