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This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album Bitter, Fit Crack (1987).

Flew out of Ringway, BOAC, spent a packet on duty-free
Got our passports and we had our shots, just hope it's not too f***ing hot
Got dead pissed-up on the plane, couldn't wait to get to Spain
The crumpet was so fit I nearly came
We all went down Torremolinos, I pulled this bird from Pontefract
I got a big red ring round the base of my penis
It wasn't Boots 17, and that's a fact
She was just dirty, it was a Club 18-30

We went round nicking from tourist shops,
Stez Styx went battering greasy wops
Beater complained about the lousy beer
Chorley ate paella, he got diarrhoea
Knobby's looking at the tits, Barrel's eating egg and chips
Don't drink the water, it'll give you the shits

We all went down Costa Blanca, Stez pulled this bird from Prestatyn (press that in)
But he didn't pull it out, he's a f***ing wanker,
Now half the kids in Wales look like him
She was just dirty, it was a Club 18-30