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​Thinking In The Dark

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album Alehouse Rock (1994).

Went down Discount Giant, and stood in the queue,
Stared in the next trolley, like you do,
Just standing, thinking, about this and that,
Just standing thinking, There's low-fat this, reduced-fat that,
What the f*** do they do with all the fat?

And what do they do with the alcohol stuff,
The stuff they take out of the beer for poofs?
The lead out of petrol? The fags with low tar?
What about the calories they've taken out of margarine,
Salad cream and Lean Cuisine, Heinz Baked Beans, and mushy peas?
Do they sling them into binbags and send them to Bosnia?

The bulb in the bog went, during a dump,
I'm sat in the darkness, with crap on my rump,
Sitting, thinking, in the dark, Just sitting, thinking,
How the f*** does Stevie Wonder wipe his arse?

When the first bit of bogroll leaves buttock cleft,
I always inspect it, to see how much turd's left,
All those blind bastards are in the dark,
No wonder Blue Peter need sixty billion bottle tops,
Because, you know, it costs a lot to coax and train a guide dog,
To lick your arse.