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​Piles

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album Alehouse Rock (1994).

Get f***ed!

She came from Biddulph, and she called me "duck"
I'd seen her picture in a dirty book,
Something secret made her give it up,
She wouldn't spill the beans.

But something's wrong,
'Cause my car seat smelled,
She had the hardest pair of panties that I've ever felt,
She must be wearing a chastity belt,
I couldn't get in her jeans.

She said: "Can you keep a secret?" and confided in me,
"Now don't go telling nobody!"
I said: "This bastard's going on the next LP!"
And I yelled at the top of my lungs.

She's got piles up her arse,
Piles up her bum,
Piles up her fanny and a sore rectum,
Piles up her arse,
Piles up her bum, and bunions.

She can't wipe her arse, and her gusset's soiled,
By the pus dripping out of her haemmoroids,
Everybody's calling her Olive Boil She said: "Don't take the piss"

Nodules up her bottom and pink polyps,
Warts up her sphincter and her buttock lips,
She leaves mucus wherever she sits,
"Hey, lads! Look at this!"

She's got piles up her arse,
Piles up her bum,
Piles up her fanny and a sore rectum,
Piles up her arse,
Piles up her bum, and bunions.

Everytime she squats upon my face,
(Everytime she squats upon my face)
My nose gets full of evil-smelling paste,
(My nose gets full of evil-smelling paste)
My eyes get blinded by a bright pink bunch of grapes.

Piles up her arse,
Piles up her bum,
Piles up her fanny and a sore rectum,
Piles up her arse,
Piles up her bum,
Piles up her fanny and a sore rectum,
Piles up her arse,
Piles up her bum,
Piles up her fanny and a sore rectum,
Piles up her arse,
Piles up her bum, and bunions.