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​McCavity

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album The Beer Necessities (1990).

He's harder than nails, tougher than bricks,
(Weighs nine stones with muscles in his s***),
Karate king, kung-fu master,
(Shaves with a plane, he's a f***ing hard bastard),
He's filled more holes than a JCB,
(So don't you f*** with...)

McCavity,
McCavity,
McCavity,
McCavity.

He won't pat dogs, he eats dead cats,
(He'll rip your bollocks off and stuff them up your cunt),
He's had a blow job off an alligator,
(He likes to wank with an old cheese grater),
He's got all the crack begging on their knees,
They say: (I'll bend down, you fill...)

McCavity,
McCavity,
McCavity,
McCavity.

When he's necked his pint, he'll eat the glass,
(He can smoke a million smelly French fags),
He can splash Brute all over his bollocks,
(F*** off you cunt, nothing rhymes with that)

Oh er right you are!

He can drink beer with a high specific gravity,
(Thank f*** for that, 'cause it rhymes with...)

McCavity,
McCavity,
McCavity,
McCavity.