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​Made Of Ale

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album Eh Up! Macc Lads (1983) and on the compilation album An Orifice And A Genital: Out-Takes 1986-1991 (1993).

Mucky hiker hitching west along the M65
She's got seamen on her chest
And Morecambe on her sign
(More come)

She said, she'd got her menstrual cycle
I said, "You'd better flog it"
Didn't want to make a meal of her
So I gave her a lump of hot fish yogurt
I bet she comes from Macclesfield

Filthy, fat and flatulent
She couldn't make a decent brew
Ugly as a pig, she couldn't cook a Jew

It's no wonder they call them pigs
Look at the way she grunts
She thinks she's posh but she's like a tampon
'Cause they're both just stuck up cunts
I bet she comes from Macclesfield

Turned out she owned a pub in London
Called the Old White Hart
She became my Maid of Ale
But I had to put up with her fishy cunt farts

Written by:

Tom Waits