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Doctor, Doctor

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album Bitter, Fit Crack (1987).

I've screwed alot of boilers,
I've prodded loads of tarts,
Stabbed some open wounds
And I've split them all in half.

Knobbed a lot of women,
I've stuffed a load of birds,
Shagged a lot of dogs,
And I've pulled a load of skirt.

And there's been a load of whores,
When I've used a bit of force,
But they all received the benefit,
Of sexual intercourse.

When they make a lot of fuss,
It makes me feel sick,
They want a soaking gusset
And a more than ample d***.

Doctor, I think I've got AIDS,
I get laid ten times a day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my d***,
It hurts when I wank.

I've slammed a lot of crumpet,
But its doing them some good,
If they don't like it, they can lump it,
They've all been ugly tugs.

One b****, she had a flat head,
Put up quite a fight,
But I found a gob to place my knob,
And a place to put my pint.

I always end up shagging a really smelly bag,
And getting down to business when I just don't want to shag,
Sometimes I have to do it, lie back and think of Macc,
I'm using all this drinking time to service ugly crack.

Doctor, I think I've got AIDS,
I get laid ten times a day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my d***.

Doctor, I think I've got AIDS,
I get laid ten times a day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my d***,
It hurts when I wank.

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