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​Chester Zoo

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album The Beer Necessities (1990).

The van is full of blubber, the Beater's got his rubbers,
Barrel shows his arse out the back,
Nevis eats a burger, K2's farts ar murder, Tankie ate McCavity's cat.*
Everybody's drinking, Stez's pits are stinking, Knobby's made a mess on Fiesta,
Al O'Peesha's throwing crap out, Muttley's got the map out,
Stop the van! Shout: 'Oi! You git! Which way is it to Chester?'
All the lads are piling in the van, Muttley's visiting his family,
We took the crew, and a can or two
We're all f***ing off to the zoo.

Gorilla chats to Tankie, polar bears are wanking, Hyena sucking its d***,
'That's pretty cool that, wish I could do that,'
'Chuck him a fag, and ask him nice, he might let you have a quick lick.'
Coypu copulating, monkey masturbating, orang utan picking its arse,
Rhinocerous is pissing, hippopotomus shitting,
Uncle Knobby's at the penguin cage waggling his d*** through the bars.

All the lads are piling in the van, Muttley's visiting his family,
We took the crew, and a can or two
We're all f***ing off to the zoo.