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​Beer & Sex & Chips N Gravy

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album Eh Up! Macc Lads (1983).

Cleaned my teeth, put on my best clobber,
Tonight's the night I'm going to knob her
Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust,
But you can't shag a bird on a 29 bus

Beer and sex and chips and gravy, it's all a Macc Lad wants
Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit of clump
Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to sup some more

Pulled the bird down the Fox and Grapes
Game of darts and a lot of beer
'Can you hold your liquor (licker) love?'
'Yes I can, always by the ears.'

Treat your women like toilets
They're happy when you're abusing them
But toilets don't follow you round when you've finished using them