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​Beer & Sex & Chips 'N' Gravy

This song is by The Macc Lads and appears on the album Beer & Sex & Chips N Gravy (1985).

Cleaned my teeth, put on my best clobber,
Tonight's the night I'm going to knob her
Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust,
But you can't shag a bird on a 29 bus

Beer and sex and chips and gravy, it's all a Macc Lad wants
Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit of clump
Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to sup some more

Pulled the bird down the Fox and Grapes
Game of darts and a lot of beer
'Can you hold your liquor (licker) love?'
'Yes I can, always by the ears.'

Treat your women like toilets
They're happy when you're abusing them
But toilets don't follow you round when you've finished using them