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​The Ballad Of Edna And Ida

This song is by The Arrogant Worms and appears on the album Beige (2007).

Edna and Ida are living in a home
Both in their eighties, both widows
Their kids only call to say
They'll come by some other day
Well christmas came and the kids did not
So Edna said 'that's their last shot'
She called a taxi to the bus
Which took them down to Las Vegas

Edna and Ida are going on a tear
Ripping up the strip and letting down their blue hair
Edna and Ida are spending every cent
Of their children's inheritance

Shooting craps down at Ceasers
Knocking back margueritas
Ida on her walker Edna in her chair
Dancing on the table throwing money in the air
They were at the strip club making noise
When they spotted two frat boys
Who they got drunk and married later
In a ceremony by an Elvis imitator

They laid down for a nap and never got up
At the reading of their wills all the kids showed up
The lawyer read the crumpled note that said 'To everyone,
We can't take it with us, but you ain't getting none.'