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The Audience Is Listening

This song is by Steve Vai and appears on the album Passion And Warfare (1990) and on the live album Live in Tokyo (2005) by G3.

Now Stevie, now don't be nervous, honey, O.K.? I'm gonna
Go in and I'm gonna introduce you, and then you're gonna come
In with your guitar, and you're gonna play that nice, nice music
You were telling me about; and while you're doing that, I'll be
Sitting in the back of the room. We'll have such a good time,
So don't you be nervous, honey. It will relax everybody, and
We'll be so happy. I'm gonna go now. I'll introduce you, O.K.?
HEADS UP! Now you kids you, all of you, calm down. That's
Good, O.K. everyone in your own seats, that's good, O.K.,
Now, little Stevie Vai is going to play a composition on the
Guitar. He wrote it all by himself. O.K., Stevie, bring your
Three friends up, they can play with you. That Steve Vai,
What a nice little boy. I wrote this song for all my friends. When I
Grow up, I'm gonna be a famous Rock 'n' Roll guitar player. Love it.
EH, HE, HE, go ahead. And this is my whammy bar. And it's
Gonna be loud. Don't you think that's a bit loud? Boys! It's
Getting too loud! You're getting out of control, boys. Stevie,
Now calm down class, calm down. Mr. Vai, you've got to turn
It down... What did you say, you want me to turn it down? You
Mean down like this...(Boys, What happened to that nice
Music?) That sounds like noise Mr. Vai. And I want it
Stopped! You've all got detention. Uh, oh, here comes trouble. Ay,
Vai, are you outta your mind? You guys, ya don't back off, Ya
Must be crazy! I'm gonna flip-out, I'm tellin' you. If this is my
Final flip-out, you guys are gonna go with me. Ah, shut up.
Will you two stop dancin' like that. Frankie, leave that girl
Alone! We're not gonna have another incident like Mildred.
Come here to me, Vai, don't you hear me? Come here you
Little snit. Wait till I get my hands... don't you run away. Ay,
Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay Vai. Knock it off! Get off my desk!
Hey, Andrea, check this out. Oh, Stevie, you promised me you'd
Play nice music; People out of control, dancin' on the desks,
Playin' with the girls. That awful noise just make people go
Wild. You gotta turn that music down, Stevie, please. I'm
Fearless in my heart. They will always see that in my eyes. I am the
Passion; I am The Warfare. I will never stop... always constant,
Accurate, and intense. Mark my words, you'll never amount to
Anything, Steve Vai. You'll see, you'll be a bum, in the
Streets. A bum, that's it, a bum. I thought you were such a
Nice little boy. Ya know what? Ya mean, ya got a mean, nasty,
Vicious streak. Why don't you just quit school? Move to
California with all those other bums. Go, that's where you
Belong, with all those crazies out in California. Maybe you'll
Become famous, Ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
You - famous? With that noise? Ha! I'll see ya in jail; Give me
A break, Stevie, stop it. You'll see, mark my words.

Written by:

Steve Vai