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Uncle Ernie's Used Computers' Babbage's Birthday Bargain Bash

This song is by Steve Savitzky and appears on the compilation Vince Emery Presents the Funniest Computer Songs (1989).

When Babbage's Birthday rolls around
We hold our annual Shopping Spree
With every C-P- U you buy
Get a floppy disk completely free
We've acres of used computers here
The biggest selection in the land
At prices from just fifty cents
To seven hundred and fifty grand

It's Uncle Ernie's Used Computer
Babbage's Birthday bargain bash
Once-in-a-lifetime discount deals
All sales are final and strictly cash

We've Altair's, Imsai's, Apple Three's
And PC Junior's by the score
And if you fancy something big
A mainframe's only slightly more
Take that 7090 there
Such magtape drives did y'ever see?
And whether it runs with tape or cards
Get a floppy disk completely free

If energy bills are out of sight
Don't sit and shiver in the cold
To help you beat the cost of heat
We're offering real-time control
Straight from the nuclear industry
Here's a real hot number just for you
It glows in the dark a little so
It makes a dandy night-light too

Now in the robot section here
We've Heathkit Heros by the score
And a couple of custom models that
Were only used in one star war
Robbie here is a great machine
Did you ever see such a friendly face?
The price is very low because
We found him drifting lost in space