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Nuttin' for Christmas

This song is by Stan Freberg and appears on the compilation Dr. Demento Presents the Greatest Christmas Novelty CD of All Time (1989).

This song is a cover of "Nuttin' For Christmas" by Spike Jones.
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Nuttin' for Christmas
I broke my bat on Johnny's head
Somebody snitched on me
I hid a frog in Sister's bed
Somebody snitched on me
I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug
I made Tommy eat a bug
Bought some gum with a penny slug
Somebody snitched on me

So
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I put a tack on Teacher's chair
Somebody snitched on me
I tied a knot in Susie's hair
Some…—on me
I did a dance on Mommy's plants
Climbed a tree and tore my pants
Filled the sugar bowl with ants
Somebody snitched on me

Ohh… hurry up!
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I won't be seeing Santa Claus
Somebody snitched on me
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me
Next year, I'll be going straight
Next year, I'll be good—just wait
I'd start now, but it's too late
Somebody—

Who's that coming down the chimney with a bag over his shoulder?
It's him!
It's him!
I thought he wasn't coming!

Where's the silverware, little boy?
In the dining room, like I told you.
And the jewelry?
Same place as last time. How about my cut?
The usual?
The usual. Join me on the chorus, okay?
Why not?

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad (ha-ha-ha-ha)
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

Have a good season?
Excellent!

Written by:

Sid Tepper and Roy C. Bennett