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​Ground Crew (Last Minute Reassembly Before Take Off)

This song is by Robert Calvert and appears on the album Captain Lockheed And The Starfighters (1974).

Voices of two mechanics: whistling, chit - chat greetings...'
2: Hey!
1: Hey! - ehm - d'ya know something 'bout planes?
2: Planes? what ...? You know... XXX planes?!?
1: No, no, no... planes... you know like...
2: Oh, yes.
1: gives a childish plane imitation...
2: Oh well, a little bit - not a lot, but...
1: Here. This engine mounting's a bit loose if you ask me.
2: Course it is. It's supposed to be like that.
1: Are you sure?
2: Well it's got to give a bit, hasn't it.
1: What do you mean 'Give'?
2: You know, it's got to give a bit in the wind. Like a bridge...
1: Oh, I see...(pause) Where does this bit go then?
2: What's that? Let's have a look. Hmm. I dunno. Never seen one of them. Where'd it come from this bit?
1: Well, it was knocking about loose inside - found it in me trouser's turn-up's...
2: Really? Give us it. Hmm. I'd say that was some kind of retaining plunger.
1: Retaining plunger? What's that? Pervert or something, like use it on the missus, do ya?
(Laughter)
2: Give us that instruction book a minute.
1: (straining sound of lifting heavy objects) Got it?
2: Put your end down a bit. Careful. Mind my foot. (flickering of pages) Let's see now. Page nine hundred and seventy nine, paragraphe three. No. It's not here...(pause) Pass me the number twelve spanner.
1: This one?
2: No. The number twelve. That's not a number twelve is it?
1: I think they've got a bit mixed up. The number twelve doesn't seem to be here.
2: You're right The number twelve isn't there. It must be missing. Better make out a chitty.
1: What shall I put?
2: Here give us it. Bloody radar crew
1: (repeats slowly) bloody... bloody... two'll's' (?)
2: Write down: Bloody radar crew. Using my spanners... For... Stirring... Their... TEA.
Voice of Pilot: (sound of riding crop, impatiently strinking leather boot) - Is this plane ready for take off, yet???
2: Almost ready, sir.
Pilot: (shouts) Good!
Take Off. Explosion.

TV News sports reporter's voice: Here are the latest plane crash results from the Air defence games in Germany: Starfighters one hundred and fifty nie: pilots killed one hundred and six.
America not out.