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​Aircraft Salesman (A Door In The Foot)

This song is by Robert Calvert and appears on the album Captain Lockheed And The Starfighters (1974).

(Voices in the Background... fair ground callers):
Roll up roll up... this is the plane you want. Wanna try a fast plane sir... fast plane. Knock the pilot out of the air... three goes one mark...

Voice of Air Defence Minitster (Strauss): NEXT!
Cut to Voice of American Salesman (warm and friendly as a TV ad for cigarettes used to be)
Salesman: Hi there. We understand you want to buy some airplanes.
Strauss: That is correct.
Salesman: Well we make ariplanes. Good ones. Fast and reliable. Let me just show you this. Look at this picture. This is the F104. Or the Starfighter as we like to call her. Isn't she beautiful. Yep. She sure is beautiful. Designed by the same man who designed the famous U2.
Strauss: (dreamingly) The U2...
Salesman. Yes. It's the finest fairweather fighter on the market. You won't find a better one at the price. Or any price for that matter.
Strauss: Yes, it's very nice. But we need a plane for bombing, straffing, assault and battery, interception, ground support and reconnaissance. Not just a fairweather fighter!
Salesman: Well, that's ok. We can make some modifications. It'll cost a little extra, but it's worth it. Just look at the shape of this beauty. Look, I tell you what we'll do. We'l redesign the plane, right? And instead of just calling it the F104, we'll call it the F104G.
Strauss: G?
Salesman: Yeah, eh, Herr Minister - G. G for Germany
Strauss: G. for Germany, eh...
Salesman: Yeah, ehm, G for Germany, Herr Minister, you know, it'll go well on the plane, we could do a logo around it and it would look very taste up in the clouds. We could illuminate it a bit - so, that on dark days you would see it twinkling like a star.
Strauss: G for Germany..? Also G for Gott strafe England... (God punish England)- - this I am enjoying. (laughter) G for Germany!