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​Cephallus Worm/Uncle Henry

This song is by Rheostatics and appears on the album Introducing Happiness (1995).

(Artenings Made of Gold) by Dave Bidini

Artenings made of gold. Artenings made of gold.
Davey is one. Timmy is two.
Davey is made of gold.

(Cephallus Worm) by Martin Tielli

What beads in sand and blows out water?
Gungt snip... gungt snip...
What weaves holes all inside and out?
Rekunininin snakes... Rekunininin snakes...
What leaves tracks that I inverted?
Rekarsin snakes?
Who put the holes in Pinocchio's nose?
What did Martin pull out of a cat's ass in Italy?
A cephallus worm?
A cephallus worm!

(Uncle Henry) by Dave Bidini

Uncle Henry, have you heard?
MacKenzie King has cited you.
He will come to Hammond River
And present you with a badge.
Though your vision's nearly gone
And your cattle are diseased,
You've been chosen as our hero.
You will hold our banner high!
High!

Uncle Henry, be polite,
And do not question when he asks
If you think that his conscription policy
Is proper work.
Say hello to him for me.
Ask him if his dog predicts
That the Maple Leafs are gonna beat Detroit
For the Stanley Cup!
Right!

Henry, can you see the forest?
See the forest through the trees?
They're diggin' a hole up on Military Trail.
They're diggin' a hole for the military.

Uncle Henry, don't be dumb,
Liquor up your youngest son!
For he represents the royal army's
Chances in the war.
Say hello to him for me
Ask him if his dog predicts
That the Maple Leafs are gonna beat Detroit
For the Stanley Cup!