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​Tender Love Ballad

This song is by Poxy Boggards and appears on the album Anchor Management (2009) and on the album Live in Consort (2011).

Original video
I met a young lass and I wrote her a song
The words were sentimental and it didn't take too long
'Twas rhyme and 'twas verse and a song note or two
I quickly composed for this young lass to woo

Oh, please have intercourse with me!
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e!
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!

I tuned up me lute and was off to find me lass
This rare opportunity, I couldn't let it pass
Right 'neath her window sill, I prepared me song to sing
And with a hopeful heart I let the first course ring

Oh, please have intercourse with me!
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e!
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!

I played the last chord and my heart to flutter started
I looked up to see me true love as the window curtains parted
But the vision that I saw was both frightening and bad
Silhouetted in her window was the shadow of her dad! (Scream!)

Oh, please have intercourse with me!
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e!
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!

Well, I looked at him and I knew that I was dead
And with a measured rage, these are the words to me he said
"Whatever you intended for my daughter true
I swear by her maidenhead I will do to you!"

Oh, please have intercourse with me!
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e!
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!

Well, it goes without saying I took off with great surprise
For the last thing that I wanted was my bottom sodomized
How could such good intentions be turned upon their ear?
This lovely lassie's father coveting my rear! (That asshole!)

Oh, please have intercourse with me!
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e!
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!

Oh, please have intercourse with me! (I really mean it!)
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e! (Look at me, I'm desperate)
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!