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​Real Woman

This song is by Poison Girls and appears on the album Songs Of Praise (1985).

I know it's near the knuckle

But I can tell when I see a real man

When it comes to reality

I've only just began

You've got a grasp of the real situation

I just blunder about in a close

Approximation

You know a lot of people your always drinking with your friends

You know a lot of people

When you've got a lot to send

I'm not a real woman

I don't nod my head

And patiently wait

For your favours in bed

I don't wear lace panties

At waist away prices

Or bondage and scanties

At masochist dances

I'm not a real woman

I don't waggle my hips

Or flap my eye lids

Or shapple my lips

And I'm not a lemon

So please don't squezze out my pips

I'm not a real woman

I don't aim to please

Or twinkle my knickers

Or garter my knees

The nails on my fingers

Are tattered and torn

I have had dirty fingers

Since the day I was born

I'm not a real woman

I'm not a real woman

I don't nod my head

And patiently wait

For your favours in bed

And I'm not a lemon

So squeeze your own instead

I'm generous I'm mean

I'm a law onto myself

And I just laugh at everything you say

Don't be surprised

If I don't look into your eyes

My eyes are on a million miles away

I'm not a real woman

I won't cook your food

I'm not on page 3

Drinking gin in the nude

I'm board by your laundry

And board by your jokes

Why don't you save them

To tell other blokes

I don't need no favours

I don't need no please

I don't need no bozo

To tickle my knees

And I'm no lamb chop

So don't fork my peas

I'm generous I'm mean

I'm a law onto myself

And I just laugh at everything you say

Don't be surprised

If I don't look into your eyes

My eyes are on a million miles away

I'm not a real woman

I don't look divine

I only like children some of the time

And just like a man must be well hung

To be a real woman

You have to be young

Hey your not so macho

By the look of that bunch

You can save your bananas

To eat with your lunch

I'm not a real woman

I won't cook your food

And I only want sex

When I'm in the mood

I'm generous I'm mean

I'm a law onto myself

And I just laugh at everything you say

Don't be surprised

If I don't look into your eyes

My eyes are on a million miles away

I'm not a real woman

I won't cook your food

And I only want sex

When I'm in the mood