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This song is by Paul F. Perry and appears on the television soundtrack Scrubs: My Musical (2007).

Carla: I could tell a bunch of lies
Elliot: I could buy him his own place
Carla: I could bring the baby here with me
Elliot: Or tell him there's no space!

Carla: Those are some lame-ass ideas.
Elliot: We are so screwed.