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​For the Last Time, I'm Dominican

This song is by Paul F. Perry and appears on the television soundtrack Scrubs: My Musical (2007).

Carla: I've had it up to here
So let me make it very clear
Because I swear I'll never clue you in again
Every time that you profess
I come from Puerto Rico (Turk: Yes?)
For the last time, Turk, I'm Dominican!

Turk: Don't make a big to-do
I was simply testing you
Carla: Then why'd you tell J.D. our baby's "blaxican"?
Turk: Babe, you know I know the truth
Carla: Well, I need a little proof
So list all you know about me, or no sex again

Turk: Uh... let's see...
Your name is Carla (Carla: Oh, yes)
You are Latina (Carla: Impressive)
You're a nurse, your mother's dead
And, wait, I got it! Three sisters! (Carla: Turk!)
Two sisters?
Well, I'm sure you have a brother who's a huge jerk-off!

Carla: Tell me, what's my middle name?
Turk: Okay, I'm tired of this game
Let's forget it, I give up, I guess you win again
But it's not just me who gets mixed up
By all this crazy ethnic stuff!
Todd: Sorry, even I know, she's Dominican! Boo-ya!

Carla: Did I grow up in Illinois or was it Michigan?
How long before we met was I in medicine?
Was our wedding song the Beatles or Led Zeppelin?
Am I freakin' Puerto Rican or Dominican?

Turk: The thing is guys remember facts
Like what Derek Jeter hit last year, which was three-oh-three!
And that is why our brains are maxed
And there's no room for things like birthdays or ethnicities!

Carla: Well, thank you for that glimpse into the workings of the inner man
Turk: Let's talk about your job and not the fact that you're
Carla: -Dominican!

Turk: You're not staying home from work
Carla: Will that make you happy, Turk?
Turk: I'll support you if you choose to earn the Benjamins
Carla: Then I'll return to work today!
Now, you're sure that that's okay?
Turk: I say "¡Sí!" which is "yes" in Dominican!
And Puerto Rican! (Carla: Turk!)
Turk: But you're Dominican!

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