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​Helicopter

This song is by Open Mike Eagle and appears on the album Unapologetic Art Rap (2010).

Ladies and Gents I have seen the future
And pretty soon you'll need a PhD to be an English tutor
You're gonna have to put your house up to lease a scooter
We still work but our bosses are now mean computers
They make the decisions on when our lunch break is given
On whether the printers need new ink, tape, or ribbons
You can't leave there's a brand new stapler missin'
No Panda Express for their cashew flavored chicken
We tell on each other for eight cent raises
And all the comedians make Dane Cook faces
And the rap has no lyrics just eight hooks pasted
And the newborn babies are given Facebook pages
Cause ever since birth we'll be prisoners in a meshwork
There's a war on terror but innocent people get hurt
So now Al Qaeda's a system of internet jerks
And Osama Bin Laden is in your extended network

I'm getting the hell up outta here via helicopter
If I have to I'll borrow Psycho's helicopter
I don't need an umbrella I need a helicopter
Cause everything here in the scene is getting hella awkward
So raise your hand if you wanna get on my helicopter
Gimme some energy if you wanna get on this helicopter
The only way up outta here is via helicopter
('Cause if my premonition's right this is a demolition site)

We'll have our own paparazzi
So TMZ'll have its own link for all your toxic hobbies
And the paparazzi'll have their own paparazzi
So they'll be stalking each other up in their office lobbies
Hide in the back for interviews creepin'
To see what dinner you eatin' with Kick-A-Poo seasonin'
It used to be they could have it up in a few evenings
Now you Google yourself to find a pic of you sleeping
Brittney wins the 20 and 12 election
The Green Party candidate was a worker for Exxon
Christians promotin' for Jesus' resurrection
On a keyboard attached to the toilet for them to text on
Every one of us is living in its reach
Cause unregistered citizens are a menace in the streets
And each one of your children is on an independent leash
And you'll have to have a login to visit Venice Beach
But not me 'cause I'm saving to buy a helicopter
That way I never have to borrow somebody's helicopter
So raise your hands if you wanna get on my helicopter
I got a big fat time-traveling helicopter
And I'm going to the moon