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This song is by Novelists, features John Heinrich and appears on the album Noir (2017).

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I'm trying to survive these strange days
This life can be such an adventure
The world stands before my eyes
Wilder than it has ever been

I forgot these old memories of youth
That were caught right under the surface
Forget these souvenirs of you
That were calling back the pain

Oh, I never felt happy somehow
But I'm trying, I'm trying the best I can
Oh, I really wanna feel happy sometimes
Really wanna know where the lights are
But it only feels so wrong, it's eating me alive

I never know how to shorten the distance between my heart and my head
'Cause through my eyes, the days are monochrome
I wanna feel the light of a new day but I'm so scared of it all
I'm scared this utter joy ain't lasting forever, it's eating me alive

(It's eating me alive)

Oh, I never felt happy somehow
But I'm trying, I'm trying the best I can
Oh, I really wanna feel happy sometimes
Really wanna know where the lights are
But it only feels so wrong, it's eating me alive

I'm trying to survive my feelings
The joy is the ghost of a wanderer
Lost somewhere outside of here
Counting every hour

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