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​The Black Knight

This song is by Monty Python.

Arthur;
You fight with the strength of many men, sir knight.
...Pause...
I am Arthur, king of the Britons.
...Pause...
I seek the finest and the bravest knights
To join me in my court at Camelot.
...Pause...
You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
...Pause...
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.

Black knight:
None shall pass

Arthur:
What?

Black knight:
None shall pass

Arthur:
I have no qaurrel with you, good sir knight,
But I must cross this bridge.

Black knight:
Then you shall die.

Arthur:
I command you, as king of the Britons, to stand aside!

Black knight:
I move for no man.

Arthur:
So be it!

...Fighting...
...ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off...

Arthur:
Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

Black knight:
'Tis but a scratch.

Arthur:
A scratch? Your Arm's Off!

Black knight:
No, it isn't

Arthur:
Well, what's that, then?

Black knight:
I've had worse!

Arthur:
You liar!

Black knight:
Come on, you pansy!

...Fighting...
...ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off...

Arthur:
Victory is mine
...Kneeling...
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy Mer--

Black knight:
Hah!
...KICK...
Come On, Then

Arthur:
What?

Black knight:
Have at you!
...KICK...

Arthur:
Eh... You're indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.

Black knight:
Oh, had enough, he?

Arthur:
Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.

Black knight:
Yes I have.

Arthur:
Look!

Black knight:
Just a flesh wound.
...KICK...

Arthur:
Look, stop that!

Black knight:
Chicken!
...KICK...
Chickennnn!

Arthur:
Look, I'll have your leg.
...KICK...
Right!
...Whop...
...ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off...

Black knight:
Right. I'll do you for that!

Arthur:
You'll what?

Blck knight:
Come here!

Arthur:
What are you going to do, bleed on me?

Black knight:
I'm invincible!

Arthur:
You're a looney.

Black knight:
Te Black Knight always triumhps! Have at you! Come on, then.
...WHOP...
...ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off...

Black knight:
Oh... All right, we'll call it a draw.

Arthur:
Come, patsy.

Black knight:
Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards!
Come back here and take what's coming to you!
I'll bite your legs off!