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​I'm Living With A Three-Foot Anti-Christ

This song is by Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper and appears on the album Frenzy (1986).

Woo!
I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, yes I am
I said, I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ
Ah, yeah

Y'know, he's not housebroken
Still on the bottle
His little head
I wanna throttle

'Cause I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, yeah

Ah, there's a screamin' demon hollerin' all over my rock'n'roll pad, ah yeah
He's a bed-wettin' devil child who keeps callin' me "Dad"
(Huh, man, I don't know where he got that idea)

Yeah, the babysitter
They is a quitter
Child abuse, hey
Ain't no use

'Cause I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, yes I am
I said, I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, yeah

Well, he wakes me up at six a.m.
Says my body is a jungle gym, oh yeah
He's a real whippersnapper
An incubus on speed
If he don't stop yellin'
My ears are gonna bleed

He's a little boy from hell
Don't do nothin' that I say
Gonna drive to Arizona
Let him out to play

'Cause I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, yeah yeah yeah
I said, I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ
(Let's go to bridge)

You got yourself a mate
And the hour's gettin' late
You're thinkin' that maybe you wanna
Procreate
Then when I get home from work
And I open up the door
He's got his momma-momma
Nailed to the floor

I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, ah yeah
I said, I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, yeah

He's says that everything is "mine!"
And the other kids is scared
The cat and dog done vanished
And we don't know where
He's been expelled from preschool
For startin' up some riots
When he picked up that can of Drano, I said
"Boy, why don't you try it"

Yeah, the neighbors moved away
And all the grass is dead
Now I done notice
Some little horns on his head

Yeah, I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, yeah aw yeah
I said, I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, yeah yeah yeah
All right, let's go
I'm living with a three-foot Anti-Christ, woo!
Yeah, and pretty soon he's gonna be a four-foot Anti-Christ
Man, that's gonna be hard to deal with, y'know what I mean?
He'll be a regular yard ape, y'know?
Maybe we get that boy a job or somethin'
Maybe we can get him to go to military school
Maybe like a paper route or somethin', y'know?
Hope he get married soon...