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​Don't Want No Foo-Foo Haircut on My Head

This song is by Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper and appears on the album Bo-Day-Shus!!! (1987).

Don't want no foo foo hair cut sitting on my head
Don't want no foo foo hair cut sitting on my head
Man I'd rather be bald, I'd rather be dead

Oh the best hair of my generation been destroyed by stylin' mousse
Some of the best hair of my generation
Been destroyed by that evil stylin' mousse
Yeah there's only one moose, said Bullwinkle's on the loose

Don't be like Charlie Sexton, a prisoner to your haircut
Don't be like Charlie Sexton, a prisoner to your haircut
My wife up on a magazine (?), looking like a nut

They'll nuke your cats mommas (?)
If her hair sticking up so high
Man if it gets caught in a fan
Them poor boys they might die

Man that would be a shame, it would be a pity. You know one morning I
Woke up, from a
Nice night of sleeping, I woke up and I said to myself, "Mojo, Mojo, you
Cannot judge a foo
Foo by his haircut. Can't just a book by it's cover, you can't decide,
You know, if a person's
Good or band just because they got one of them big poofter haircuts
Sticking up. Mojo
There might be a great cosmic kid inside of them people. One of them
People all dressed
In black, looking all like they're gonna die and everything, they're
Just regular folks like me
And you. Them heavy metal guys, they're regular folks like me and you.
So man, for
Brotherhood, for peace, fraternity, equality, I decided that I, Mojo
Nixon, was gonna get
Me a foo foo haircut. That's right, in the war between the rockers and
The poofters, ya dig
It. So I went and got me one of them haircuts, man I'm talking about a
Mighty big one,
They had to get a hair extension peace on me man, sticking three, four
Feet up the air.
Big black thing, lots of styling mousse on it, bees and birds and bats
Were flying all around
That sucker, looked like a couple of bats had a nest up there or
Something, might have been
Vampire bats or something, you know, I dig it man. So I'm sitting there
And I'm walking
Around and everybody's seeing me and they're saying, "Mojo, we're so
Bummed Mojo, we
Can't believe, we can't believe Mojo, you got a foo foo haircut." All
For brotherhood, I did
It all for brotherhood. So one Sunday afternoon you know I do I go down
To my local
Go-kart track man, and I get in that there little go-kart and I think
I'm gonna take off like
Wendell Scott and the guy that owns the place he comes up to me and he
Says, "Hey Moj,
Moj, I know you like go-karts a whole lot and everything, but that
Haircut, mmm mmm,
Mmm mmm, Mojo, you can't be racing with that haircut, not only are the
Bats scaring
Everybody, but you might poke somebody's eye out with that thing. I
Mean it's just way
Up there, Mojo, it's out of control. I know that haircut helps you get
In them New York clubs
And everything, make you feel real existential and what not, but no
Go-karts Mojo." I
Thought about this for a second, I was mighty discombobulated, I said to
Myself
"Discombobulation is sweeping the nation!" and...

Written by:

Mojo Nixon