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​Amsterdam Dogshit Blues

This song is by Mojo Nixon and appears on the compilation album Gadzooks!!! The Homemade Bootleg (1997).

Say man, what is that funky smell
And that big brown thing coming out of that dog's tail?
Smells worse than the U.S. Senate
The guy in front of me, he just stepped in it

Well, it's dog shit here, dog shit there
God dang dog shit everywhere
Got the Amsterdam dog shit blues
Man oh man, I said P.U.

Well, little bitty dogs, great big dogs
Fillin' up the street with their do-do logs
Got the Amsterdam dog shit blues
Man oh man, you better check your shoes

Well, you don't wanna smoke it, don't wanna roll it
Why don't you get them doggies some little doggy toilets?
Got the Amsterdam dog shit blues
Man oh man, I said P.U.

All this funk's got my head in quite a swirl
Yeah, Amsterdam is the dog shit capital of the world
Gonna grab them mutts and throw them in the canal
So I won't have to smell their stinky bowel
Movements, that is
What am I gonna do?
I got the low down dirty
Stinky rotten poo-poo ca-ca
Big giant turd-ola
This St. Bernard about the size of a pony, man, let this giant turd out on the street
It was so big, you know how big it was?
It had little turds orbiting around it
Well, I got the Amsterdam dog shit blues
You dirty dog