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​Monster's Lullaby

This song is by Meg Davis and appears on the compilation Quarks & Quests (1986).

Oh, there's something in my garden, and it's been there for a week
I tried to feed it crackers, but that only made it squeak
I tried to wash its scaly head but all it did was cry
So I think I'll put it back to bed and sing it a lullaby
A monster's lullaby

Nyah, nyah, your mother eats toads,
May you grow a fine wart on the tip of your nose
Ding dong, the cat's in the well,
So run and fetch another one

Oh, there's something in my garden and it has a lovely nose
It has three heads, a wind up body, and twenty pairs of toes
Oh, I'd call it Ken or Martin but it wouldn't understand
And although it smells a bit like trash I think it is quite grand, yes, indeed,
Oh, I think it is quite grand

Nyah, nyah, your mother eats toads,
May you grow a fine wart on the tip of your nose
Ding dong, the cat's in the well,
So run and fetch another one

Oh, there's something in my garden and I tried to feed it toast
But it only smiled and tried to eat my best leather coat.
I hope my mother likes him - he seems so fresh and green
And I think my scary monster friend is very, very keen, yes, indeed,
Oh, he's very, very keen

Oh, there's something in my garden, and it's been there for a week
I tried to feed it crackers, but that only made it squeak
I tried to wash its scaly head but all it did was cry
So I think I'll put it back to bed and sing it a lullaby
A monster's lullaby

Nyah, nyah, your mother eats toads,
May you grow a fine wart on the tip of your nose
Ding dong, the cat's in the well,
So run and fetch another one

Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, hold the horse till I get on
Hold it fast and hold it sure till I get across the misty moor
Last night and the night before a lemon and a pickle came knocking at my door
I went down to let them in and they hit me with a rolling pin
Roses are red, violets are blue, carnations are sweet, and so are you
And so are they that send you this, and when we meet we'll have a kiss

Written by:

Meg Davis, except some lyrics traditional