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​Servant In Distress

This song is by Matthew Friedberger and appears on the album Winter Women (2006).

I set out my sign on the high street
With esquire writ after my name
And all these cases I courted and finessed
Most were mostly the same save one
The stockbroker Stamboulian
Was my protector she said
And I knew whom she meant
I saw him down there
He hung himself from a lamp post
Down on Cameron road
Because the price fell
To 52 and 3/8ths a share
And now they won't let me
Take the leather couch
And the maple dresser
Which clearly isn't fair.
I want to act an action
And I acted out the action
But we only got a fraction
Of what we should, she felt
So she sued me of course
Though I won
The judge was someone
With whom I'd often dealt
Now I had a Portuguese widow myself
And one night before she would console me
She had me write out a will
In case of suicide 1/4 the value of all my furniture
And 2/3 the value of all my books
Goes to Mrs. Maria Sebastio
In Addition, all female jewelry
(All jewelry judged to be female
By Mrs. Sabastio)
Goes to Mrs. Sebastio
Turns out Maria knew my former client
I changed the will the next day of course
I left her the jewelry
But she doesn't have any business
With my books
I set out my sign on the high street
With esquire writ after my name
And all those cases I courted and finessed
Most were mostly the same
Save this other one
The stockbroker Stamboulian
Was my protector she said
And I knew whom she meant
I saw him down there
He hung himself from a lamp post
Down on Cameron road
Because the price fell
To 52 and 3/8ths a share
And now they won't let me
Take the leather couch
And the maple dresser
Which clearly isn't fair.
I want to act an action
And I acted out the action
But we only got a fraction
Of what we should, she felt
So she sued me of course
Though I won
The judge was someone
With whom I'd often dealt
Now I had a Portuguese widow myself
And one night before she would console me
She had me write out a will
In case of suicide
(Or in a case determined to be suicide)
1/4 the value of all my furniture
And 2/3 the value of all my books
Goes to Mrs. Maria Sebastio