FANDOM

1,928,113 Pages

StarIconGreen
LangIcon
​Find-A-Slut™ (Skit)

This song is by MC Plus+ and appears on the album Chip Hop (2006).

(Starcraft can be heard in the background)
Person 1: Hey! Stop playing that shit, man.
Person 2: Ah, dude, shut the fuck up. You're just hating 'cause you got no skills.
Person 1: Man, I got all kinds of skills. Matter of fact, I'm the top Myspace Find-a-Slut player in indie. Thinkin' about taking that shit pro, getting sponsored...
Person 2: What the fuck are you talking about?
Person 1: I'm talking about Myspace Find-a-Slut. Now there's the game of skill.
Person 2: Eh. Never heard of it.
Person 1: What? Could you be more of a punkass? This is the MC Plus+ game. He's the creator and the best player in the world. You've heard of the Four Degrees of Some Slut theory, right?
Person 2: Heh, shit, of course. Plus+'s theory that anyone on Myspace can be connected to some arbitrary slut through a chain of top eight friends that has no more than - I believe three - intermediaries.
Person 1: Word. Well, it is based on that. Here, log into your Myspace.
Person 2: All right.
(Typing sounds)
Person 1: Now, go to Browse.
Person 2: Okay... got it.
Person 1: All right. Now browse for females. Basically the point is to identify a Myspace slut, so look for the most promising girl to start with from the thumbnail pics. If she's a slut, then you get a hole in one. Bam. If she's not a slut, then you gotta look at her top eight friends and try and find a slut in the least number of links.
Person 2: All right, (????). How do you know if a girl's a slut?
Person 1: You go to her profile and check to see if her profile satisfies any of the one sufficient conditions of sluttiness, or SCSes.
Person 2: Ah.
Person 1: Like, if she's got a pic wearing lingerie, she's a slut. If she's got a pic with a bra on and no shirt, sluuuut. Covering her titties with her hands? Sah-lut. Got a pic of just her ass? Slut. Got a pic of herself pissing in her pink panties? You guessed it buddy, that's a slut.
Person 2: Ah, well shit's easy man. I could get a hole in one every time!
Person 1: Well, obviously, man. You got that shit on an easy course. The difficulty of the course is determined by the browse options. You got that shit on 18-30, practically every other girl you're gonna see is a slut. But if you want a challenge, try this: Do women from forty to fifty in a relationship.
Person 2: Oh... okay.
Person 1: Now check here for networking, now... here's a challenging course. Par for this baby is six links.
Person 2: Okay, let me check... Oh, shit. Things just got real ugly in a hurry.
Person 1: Yeah.
Person 2: Ooh, hairy ass...
Person 1: [groans]
Person 2: Check that one?
Person 1: [GROANS]
Person 2: Yeesh.
Person 1: All right.
Person 2: What is this? Bitch only has guys in her top eight.
Person 1: Yeah, well guys don't count as links, so you just gotta click the guy you think knows the most sluts.
Person 2: This shit ain't easy!
Person 1: Word on the net is, Plus+ can spot a Myspace slut simply by reading the name.
Person 2: For real?
Person 1: Word is bond. Straight up Myspace pimping.
Person 2: Myspace pimping.