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​Very Poorly Concealed Secret Track

This song is by MC Frontalot and appears on the album Secrets From The Future (2007).

(Wheelie Cyberman)
Sipping Perrier, playing ping pong
Movin' up the ranks y'all
Hey man, you know there's nothin' wrong
With a late night battle,
I always stay prepared
Got my paddle in my backpack
Challenger's beware.

With the P-I-N-G
Volley for the serve, hit it nice and easy
See we got these regulations for a tournament
O.R.P.P.R.B., check the document

I'll officiate, your event, keep it on the level
Inspect the surfaces, arguments are settled
Scrutinize the nets, keep 'em taut and snappy
Rock the color commentary, keep the people happy

It's on. The day starts just before dawn,
Robot's on the front lawn, giving seminars
On the finer arts like brutal back hand hits
People linin' up, earnin' new certificates

Check the merchandise, man Grimmy thought of everything
Sweat bands up to grand champion rings
It means that nobody leaves empty-handed
Every last ball on the court's O.R.P.P.R.B. branded

Demand from my sponsors is big and getting better
See me at the match in my ping pong sweater
I'm in the locker room, lifting weights to get strong
Sipping perrier, playing ping pong

(MC Frontalot)
Ping Pong
Step up to the Table
Ping Pong
Put the ball in play
Ping Pong
I don't care what you call it, step up to the table put the ball in play
Ping Pong
Step up to the Table
Ping Pong
Put the ball in play
Ping Pong
Not once have I fallen, step up to the table put the ball in play

(Wheelie)
What? Yo, they challenge me? To a sanctioned event?
It went quick with the skunk, yeah love zero 6
Top Spin smashes, stops them dead in their tracks
You see the way I relax is winnin' ping pong matches
Victories are comin' in batches
When I practice, it's back---back hand again
Forehand, no return practice sideways spin
The skin on my paddle's kinda floppy
But it don't stop me, I'll win in any condition
While you wishin' that you could scout out my style and try to copy

I'm in Japan learning secret paddle positions
I'm on a steady diet: sashimi to gohan
I eat with my fingers consult the master for advice:

(Frontalot)
You can excel, grasshopper, if you're willing to pay the price
Keep your eyes on the ball, feel the paddle like a friend
You don't have to have telekinesis but pretend like you do
Then guide the sphere around the court
And to enter the slow motion so that time and space distort
Make report with the paddle, pick pock how it go
Pop lock as you wield and feel the ball flow
Against the countercurrents of the motion you make
You might mistake it for a simple game of angles, but it ain't
Now taint the universe with the flavor of your game
Tilt reality around the ball to shape the lane
Of its travel, but do not let it unravel, fate
Don't return a volley if it's already too late
It's unfair to your opponent how you move through air
How you throw away your paddle in your back pocket got a spare
How you dared him to serve before you got in the room
How he tried but the net cradled each as a womb
Now, assuming that you've got all my lessons ignored

(Wheelie)
See me at the Comfort Inn on the World Tour
It's 4 a.m., I'm eatin' continental breakfast
The competition don't expect this
A new serve from Mr. Cyberman, an ace is unexpected
I'm happy as long as my ladder post is protected
Our gear's not the tightest, is all that we found
That table might wobble but it don't fall down.
I'm in the locker room liftin' weights, gettin' strong
Sippin' Perrier, playing ping pong

Every ball is branded, serve it left-handed,
O.R.P.P.R.B., see the label and demand it
It can get kinda crazy, you understand it
It don't phase me, it's the just the way that we planned it.

Every ball is branded, serve it left-handed,
O.R.P.P.R.B., see the label and demand it
It can get kinda crazy, you understand it
It don't phase me, it's the just the way that we planned it.