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​Y2K

This song is by Loudon Wainwright III and appears on the album Social Studies (1999).

A bunch of nerdy brainy guys a long way back
Invented a crazy little thing they called the Univac
For years now, they've been upgrading that thing
It can walk and talk and count and think and it can even sing
It can help you at school, church, business, and work
Makes you feel like a genius even though you're just a jerk

You get a computer, you sit it in your lap
It does a little bit of this it does a whole lotta that
It can boot you up, it can load you down
With that little bitty mouse you're gonna rule this town
But you're headed for trouble I do believe
It's coming your way on New Year's Eve now

Whoa, what do you know
A few more measly more months to go
Hey what do you say, now here it comes now, Y2K
No it ain't a virus it's just a little glitch
It wan't done by some crazy hackin son of a bitch
And Sadaam didn't do it, can't blame him
No it's a geek with the glasses and the stupid silly grin
Billionaire Bill that's the one you can hate
If you want to blame someone blame Bill Gates

Bill said we'd make money, Bill said we'd have fun
But remember Hal the computer in 2001
We're in a time machine going back my friend
Doin' 1900 all over again, well
We've been trucking down the information superhighway
But we'll be on a dirt road come Y2K

Call me old fashioned call me a fool
And yo can call me a Luddite and you can call me uncool
But we used to imagine, question, and dream
And now all of our answers come up on some screen
We're headed for trouble I do believe
It's coming your way on New Year's Eve Y2K

Breakdown, you better get ready, be very afraid
Because your money's no good and you'll never get paid
And the car won't start and the phone won't work
And the juice won't squeeze and the coffee won't perk
No more decaf latte baby

You'll be doing the monkey, but there'll be a new twist
You'll still be alive but you will not exist
The stock market will crash, the air traffic will stop
You won't find a doctor, forget about a cop

There'll be a lot of lawyers with plenty to do
It's apocalypse now at a theatre near you
We're headed for trouble I do believe
It's coming your way on New Year's Eve

Meanwhile way over there in the old ancient Middle East
Them doomsday boys is having a feast
The end is at hand and they're down on their knees
They've been checking out all the bad-ass prophesies

This Y2K it's the latest craze
It's lock and load for the final days
Well I saw you on the plane playing solitaire
On that little laptop, with nary a care
Life's easy now, but it could get hard
Pretty soon you're gonna have to use a deck of real cards

Written by:

Loudon Wainwright III