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​Damn It Feels Good To Be A Banker

This song is by Leveraged Sellout.

Hot Dog Vendor:
Bankers and Consultants, it's time to squash the beef
Gonna settle this now
Right here on the street
Uh-oh-oh-oh
Uh-oh-oh-oh

Consultant:
M C.K. Prahalad (echoes)
MCKinse
It's about to get weird...

You bankers don't have a clue, better take some courses
I'm on some Jedi mind shit, using all five forces
Work hard, play hard even your mom thinks you're a tool
Be a burnout banker, teaching math at my prep school
I make sick decks
I use the three C's -
Chicks, Cash, Cristal, that's my only strategy
You're playing with Excel doing nothing but grunt work
I'm analyzing both qualitative AND quantitative research
(OH!)
You slave away, another piece of the machine
I make a really significant impact and get home by 7:15
I work half the time you do, I know you must hate this
Hold up... I'm about to put you in a two-by-two matrix
I'm the star homey, you're a*s is a cog
You're in the lower-right quadrant but you still ain't my dog
(Oh shit!)
And I know something about you...
You went to Walt Whitman - that's a PUBLIC SCHOOL!

Hot Dog Vendor:
Ooh Sh****t! The consultant straight ripped it,
Now let's see if the bankers can kick it.

Banker:
M&A! (echoes)
...Gordon Gekko
This shit's about to go down like Bear Stearns
Button collar, Kenneth Coles.
Shit son, your Blackberry's like four years old.
While you're out mining for gold out in Saskatchewan
I'm going for bronze at the tanning salon
You try to add value... I straight create it
You get one sh*tty idea then take six months just to bake it.
Still get paid in a recession, homey you know this.
Where's the Dow at? (11,000!)
Still bigger than your bonus.
I got a house in the Hamptons and a penthouse loft
But you've got intangibles, is that why your skills are so soft?
Over at 1OAK the bouncer looks at you sideways
Get back to your roots, there's no line at TGI Friday's
Hypothetical scenario: you get into the joint
You still can't buy bottles with Starwood Points
Free on nights and weekends with no discernible skill
Not sure if you're a consultant or my cell phone bill
Might work 100-hour weeks, barely sleep
Do some blow off my desk when I'm eight red bulls deep
Compared to what you do, my job's a challenge
I like my bank roll, bro
Keep your f#$*ing work-life balance
This is Wall St., b#$*h, you don't belong here
I'm your greatest fear, the shit you wish you could be
But are two weak to get near
Is it starting to make sense?
Is it starting to come clear?
Here.
Take this mouse and get back to making $60K a year

Hot Dog Vendor:
That's not a lot of money,
We found out who's the real gangster, sing it with me now
Damn it Feels Good to Be a Banker
Oh Oh Oh!
Damn it feels good go be a banker.
Banker.