FANDOM

1,947,770 Pages

StarIconBronze
WatchedIcon
CertIcon
LangIcon
Serious Steal

This song is by Leslie Fish and appears on the album Serious Steel (1996).

Well, our girlfriends up and left us cold
In the middle of Estrella War
And left us stranded in the middle of the field
And we thought it a crashing bore
We had nothing with us but what we'd brought
Our cars and our camping gear
A box of condoms and some toys
And a warm six-pack of beer

So grab your pants, find your socks,
Brush your teeth with a comb
If you can't get laid at Estrella War
You might as well go on home

So we went back to our lonely camp
And we spent a horny night
Then we all lined up at the showers and
We washed in the morning light
We dressed up in our finest clothes
Our swords had sheaths at hand
And we went off hunting maidenheads
A happy, horny band

So grab your pants, find your socks,
Brush your teeth with a comb
If you can't get laid at Estrella War
You might as well go on home

The very first lady that we found
She was a duchess bold
She said she had no maidenhead
But her camp was down the road
So we took her back to her jolly old camp
Her maidenhead to find
She gave her all to help our search
From vespers to compline

So grab your pants, find your socks,
Brush your teeth with a comb
If you can't get laid at Estrella War
You might as well go on home

The very next camp that we came to
The ladies had gone mad
Their lords had joined Blue Feather
And that was all they had
Our armor proved out bulletproof
Our weapons worked as well
Their lords they thanked us long and loud
For saving them from Hell

So grab your pants, find your socks,
Brush your teeth with a comb
If you can't get laid at Estrella War
You might as well go on home

Camp by camp we worked our way
Just to see who we could lay
The legends that we left behind
Were a Roman holiday!
For now the ladies seek us out
For to take their troubles on
And be their bedmates through the night
Whene'er their lords are gone

Grab your pants, find your socks,
Brush your teeth with a comb
If you can't get laid at Estrella War
You might as well go on home

How can we not take up this task
To serve our ladies' need?
How can we leave them all alone
When we hear them beg and plead?
We spent our time at the War in bed,
We had 'em by threes and fives!
And we gotta say this was a War
We'd hoped for all our lives!

So grab your pants, find your socks,
Brush your teeth with a comb
If you can't get laid at Estrella War,
If your sex life is a crashing bore,
And all you can find is a two-bit...
You might as well go home!
You might as well go home!

CreditsEdit

  • Written by Joe Bethancourt and Leslie Fish

NotesEdit

  • The Estrella War is an annual event held by the Society for Creative Anachronism.
  • The Blue Feather is a subgroup of the SCA known for including mostly gay members.

External links