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First Of May

This song is by Jonathan Coulton and appears on the album Smoking Monkey (2003).

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I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
Then a little conversation
With my squirrel and chipmunk friends
I said I'm sick and tired of winter
And I wish that it was spring
Then a little fella named Robin Redbreast began to sing

And he sang:
Ooh child, what you think, the cold winter's gonna last forever?
Ooh child, now's the time for all the people to get together
Outside

'Cause it's the First of May
First of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby, dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called
Fucking outside

I thanked him for the information
I cried a little when he flew away
Watched an episode of "The People's Court"
And I tried to plan my day
Called up my old lady
She wasn't home so I called my girl
Asked her if she'd like to join me as I entertain the world

I said:
Ooh child, I'll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off
Ooh child, you're gonna like it when we're taking each other's pants off
Outside

'Cause it's the First of May
First of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby, dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called
Fucking outside

So we went to the park together
We were walking in the midday sun
Met all kinds of people
And we fucked everyone
Fucked a lady who sells ice cream
Fucked a man with a tan shar pei
Everyone who needed fucking, well,
They got fucked today

So come on,
Ooh child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you
Ooh child, you'll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you
Outside

'Cause it's the First of May
First of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby, dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called
Fucking outside
Fucking outside
Fucking outside

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