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​Baby Got Back

This song is by Jonathan Coulton and appears on the album Thing-A-Week One (2006).

This song is a cover of "Baby Got Back" by ​Sir Mix-A-Lot.
L.A. face with the Oakland booty

I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
You notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Ooh babe, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your pretty picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny

Ooh, Rumplesmoothskin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back

So, fellas (yeah) fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (yeah)
Tell her to shake it, shake it
Shake that healthy butt

(L.A. face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(Little in the middle)
Baby got back
(L.A. face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(Little in the middle)
Baby got back

I like 'em round and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And whoa, double-up, whoa whoa
I ain't talkin' 'bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys

I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Jonny C's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hos
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So, ladies (yeah) ladies (yeah)
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around, stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(L.A. face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(Little in the middle)
Baby got back
(L.A. face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(Little in the middle)
Baby got back

spoken:
Actually, when it comes to females,
Cosmo does not have very much to do at all with my selection.
I mean, 36-24-36?
Maybe if she's 5' 3"

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda,
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you have got buns, hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt

Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and they leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies (yeah) if the butt is round (yeah)
And you want a triple-X throw down
Dial 1-900-JONNYC
And kick them nasty thoughts

(L.A. face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(Little in the middle)
Baby got back
(L.A. face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(Little in the middle)
Baby got back