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​Here Come the Elephants

This song is by Johnny Bond.

Here come the elephants two by two
Pink little pachyderms following you
It's about time you start thinking
About giving up all your drinking

I did, I did
You gave up drinking
No, but I thought about it
Aaaaaawwwww
Aawww you all go away and leave me alone
Everybody's trying to get me to quit drinking
My wife says the only reason she didn't get me
A birthday present is 'cause she don't know how
To gift-wrap a saloon
And my doctor says if I don't quit drinking
It's gonna kill me
But I know a whole lot more old drunks than I
Do old doctors

Even the Red Cross has been bugging me
They turned down my blood donation cause
They said they found an olive in it
Well if they didn't put olives in them drinks
I'd starve to death
My wife says I'm spoilin' my health drinking
To everybody else's, but I'm not
I'm slipping vitamins in my gin so I can build
Myself up while I'm tearing myself down

An my mother-in-law, who is the head of the NBC
That's the Naggin' Brat Committee
She says I'm a hard drinker but I'm not, Shoot
Drinkin's the easiest thing I've ever done in my life
The only time I ever had a hard time drinking
Was last year on the ocean voyage
The sea got so rough one night they had to
Lash me to the bar

Well I may have to give it up if I can't get a
Better job
Do you realize the cost of living is up 27 cents a fifth
Well I oughtta be able to do better in employment
Because I graduated from college
Magna Cum Loaded
Speakin' a being loaded
I've been here in this same bar drinking all day long
Hey bartender, yup
What time is it,
It's 1 minute after 12 midnight
After midnight, ay
Welp bottoms up
First one today