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Jay-Z:99 Problems Lyrics

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99 Problems

This song is by Jay-Z and appears on the album The Black Album (2003).

This song has been covered by Hugo under the title "99 Problems".
This song is featured in the movies The Taking Of Pelham 123, Fight Night and No Strings Attached.
This song is featured in the video game Battlefield 3.
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Wikipedia has an article on
99 Problems
Original video
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 (he's got 99 problems) problems, but a bitch ain't one

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say, "he's money, cash, hoes"
I'm from the hood, stupid; what type of facts are those?

If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough
I'm like, "fuck critics; you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward"
Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
They don't play my hits; well, I don't give a shit, so

Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
I don't know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches, niggas; I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me

99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me

The year is '94, in my trunk is raw
In my rearview mirror is the motherfuckin' law
Got two choices, y'all: pull over the car or (Hmm...)
Bounce on the devil; put the pedal to the floor
And I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars; I can fight the case
So I pull over to the side of the road
I heard, "Son, do you know what I'm stoppin' you for?"
"Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?"
"Well, you was doin' fifty-five in a fifty-four" (uh-huh)
"License and registration and step out of the car
Are you carryin' a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are"
"I ain't steppin out of shit; all my paper's legit"
"Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"
"Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that" (ha-ha)
"Aren't you sharp as a tack?
You some type of lawyer or somethin', somebody important or somethin'?"
"Child, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit"
"Well, we'll see how smart you are when the canine comes"
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me

99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me

Ah-ah
99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me

Now once upon a time, not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strongarm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin' a pussy
But a pussy havin' no goddamn sense; try and push me
I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
And only thing that's gon' happen is I'ma get to (whoo!) clappin' and
He and his boys gon' be yappin' to the captain
And there I go, trapped in the kit-kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the floor, scratchin' again
Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin' them
D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again
Half a mill' for bail cause I'm African
All because this fool was harassin' them
Tryin to play the boy like he's saccharine (uh-uh)
But ain't nuttin sweet, 'bout how I hold my gun
I got 99 problems; bein' a bitch ain't one; hit me

99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me
(Gosh!)

99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me

Whoo
Whoo
Uh, uh
Havin' girl problems? I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, and a bitch ain't one.

Ha-ha.
You crazy for this one, Rick.
This is your boy!

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