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​If I Didn't Believe In You

This song is by Jason Robert Brown and appears on the musical soundtrack The Last Five Years (2002).

Jamie
There are people
And they are publishing my book
And there's a party
That they are throwing.
And while you've made it very clear that you're not going,
I will be going.
And that's done.

But what's it really about?
Is it really about a party, Cathy?
Can we please for a minute
Stop blaming and say what you feel?
Is it just that you're disappointed
To be touring again for the summer
Did you think this would all be much easier
Than it's turned out to be?
Well, then talk to me, Cathy.
Talk to me.

If I didn't believe in you,
We'd never have gotten this far.
If I didn't believe in you
And all of the ten thousand women you are.
If I didn't think you could do
Anything you ever wanted to,
If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow,
The fact of the matter is, Cathy,
I wouldn't be standing here now.

If I didn't believe in you,
We wouldn't be having this fight.
If I didn't believe in you,
I'd walk out the door and say, "Cathy, you're right."
But I never could let that go
Knowing the things about you I know -
Things, when I met you four years ago, I knew.
It never took much convincing
To make me believe in you.

Don't we get to be happy, Cathy?
At some point down the line,
Don't we get to relax
Without some new tsuris
To push me yet further from you?
If I'm cheering on your side, Cathy,
Why can't you support mine?
Why do I have to feel
I committed some felony
Doing what I always swore I would do?

I don't want you to hurt,
I don't want you to sink,
But you know what I think?
I think you'll be fine!
Just hang on and you'll see -
But don't make me wait till you do
To be happy with you -
Will you listen to me?
No one can give you courage
No one can thicken your skin.
I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy.
I will not lose because you can't win.

If I didn't believe in you,
Then here's where the travelogue ends.
If I didn't believe in you,
I couldn't have stood before all of our friends
And said, "This is the life I choose -
This is the thing I can't bear to lose.
Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall."
That's what I thought we agreed on, Cathy.
If I hadn't believed in you,
I wouldn't have loved you at all.

Now why don't you put on your dress and we'll go, okay? Cathy? Can we do that, please? Please?