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​The Landlord's Daughter

This song is by Imperial Leisure and appears on the album The Art Of Saying Nothing (2008).

My friend Pai, been giving her the eye,
He's convinced she looks quite nice;
What he'll never know is what we do,
He's fallen for the beer and the jiggly boobs.
Her father, esteemed proprietor,
Walks and talks like an East End gangster,
Thinks his girl's pure as snow;
'Truth is everyone here's had a go.

You're lost in space
Fallen from grace
Casanova pull the brakes
I know she gives adequate head,
But why take the goddamn girl to bed!
Your brain has disconnected,
You're sight don't see reality, only dreams.
Nothing ventured nothing gained
Pleasuring her means a whole lot of pain ...

I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
Oh yeah, me too, and everyone else in here when she calls 'last orders'.
I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
She's all right once you've had a pint, give it a fortnight, you might see her in a new light...

At school she was nothing special,
Knee-length skirt, V-neck and a satchel,
Then she grew tits and was supernatural,
I'm not being rude, I'm just being factual. Anyway,
Her Dad's overprotective, and he's on the gates like a fucking detective.
So if you wanna bone her, you'd better be patient,
Or wind up in a coma in his basement.

He smokes a big fat cigar,
And his stands at the bar sipping on his jar.
She collects empty glasses, I'm mesmerised by her arse every time she passes
When I wanna get hands on her blouse,
He's moving towards me like a thundercloud.
Trying to keep my hands off his orchid,
So for now I'll settle for a pint and a pack of ready salted.

I'm in the love with the landlord's daughter,
Oh yeah, me too, and everyone else in here when she calls 'last orders'.
I'm in the love with the landlord's daughter,
She's all right once you've had a pint, give it a fortnight, you might see her in a new light...

I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,

I think I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
I think I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
I think I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,
I think I'm in love with the landlord's daughter,

The landlord's daughter,
The landlord's daughter,
The landlord's daughter,
The landlord's daughter,

She's all right once you've had a pint, give it a fortnight, you might see her in a new light.