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I Won't Find My Wife In This Bar

This song is by Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives and appears on the album It's Not As Bad As I'm Making It Sound (2000).

My friends and I we go to Zanzibar
I see a pretty girl but I won't get too far
'Cause she's just staring at my friend
Now they're talking laughing I feel dead
Maybe I'll just go to bed

We're at this party of a friend of mine
I ask this woman if she'd like some wine
She says "No thanks I never drink"
Then she looks at my friend I see her wink
As I turn I hear their glasses clink

I won't find my wife in this bar

Now we're in this smoky bar in Somerville
Talking to this girl she's cute and dressed to kill
She says "I think you're funny too
But I'd rather be dead than dance with you
'Cause you're not white as Elmer's glue"

I won't find my wife in this bar

Is this another Bates reunion
Or Hamilton, Tufts, or Colby?
Does it really matter where I go?

I won't find my wife in this bar